There's Wonder in Our Dreams

and awe in our imaginations.

I'm terrified of the day that I lose the ability to hope,
to reach beyond the realms of possibility with my mind.

I can't imagine what it'd be like,
but I imagine it to be an empty shell.
A broken person.

I really, truly hope that its not something that can vanish.
Even if it only occupies a tiny room,
filled with a dim flickering light in the deepest recesses of my mind,
I don't want it to elude me.

Does it disappear with time?
Sometimes, it seems that way.
How did we manage to lose the amazement of childhood?
Why do boundaries and limitations have to accompany knowledge and experience?

But then again,
that doesn't seem to stop my friends and I from skipping across bridges with bouncy pigtails and building pillow fortresses.

Asdfghjkl;'!!!!

The. Getaway. Plan. Revival. Concert.
for Youth Depression.

Yes boys and girls, my (possibly) all-time favourite band
(who sing in english, that is)
are doing a once in a lifetime reunion gig.

And guess what?
Another one of the bands from my slightly hardcore and very muso phase who hold a dear spot in my heart, Stealing O'Neal are supporting them.

No joke,
I actually started hyperventilating when I found out.
Just ask my poor unfortunate boyfriend who happened to be on the phone to me and mid-speech at the time.

What's so special about TGP you may ask?
They're amazing.
Purely mind-blowing slightly adorable potheads who are about the music.
Not to mention, they were my first gig.
Sentimentality and all the shiz.

So,
for all you few and random anonymous and not so anonymous stalkers of mine,
if you are u18 and hellbent on being there too,
I may just see you.

Look for the tiny little asian girl
who appears to be being swallowed by the mosh
and yet is moshing her heart out and furiously ducking her way to the front row.
<3

Night made (last night).

ps: Au contraire to my i-hate-the-world-comma-boys-are-stupid-and-today-sucks rant on the way to school this morning, I had a wonderful day, especially thanks to an epic food adventure with two of my fellow fatties who reduced me to convulsing fits of side-splitting laughter whilst walking alongside major roads. Poor poor drivers must think I'm retarded. On first glance, I'm a model student type private school girl (or so my blazer pocket suggests) making my way home afterschool. Glance two: wait where's she gone? Oh wait she's on the floor, her entire body wracked with...laughter?

The Wheel Keeps on Turning

revoluta ruebat matura iam luce dies noctemque fugarat
the wheel of day turns and the night had already fled.

- Vergil: Aeneid X

Puhretty.

Its been so long since I included a quote...
and despite the fact that I was extremely ambitious when I decided to borrow a stack of books that not only made it difficult for me to see when scaling the horrific, altophobia-inducing stairs in our lovely light-filled VCE building but gave me a broken back and ensured I shrunk another 10 cm, I haven't read a book for ages.
Okay, I lied, but I haven't read as many as I'd like.

Hokay.
Sidetracked woo.

I can feel the blood of vitality being drained from me drop by drop as I sit in class.
I talk. I draw. I giggle.
I sleep with eyes open. I sleep on the shoulders of friends. I make strange noises and do silly things.
And sometimes, I just disappear for a toilet break, take a stroll, make myself some tea in the common room, chat with a passerby and return just in time for the bell to signal end of class.
Productive, I know.

Sometimes its enough,
sufficient for the the day to be labelled "good".
But what the hell is good?
Passable?

I'm not happy with content,
not satisfied with enough,
and not fine with okay.

I want thrills.
I want fireworks.
And all that fancy shmancy stuff with lace and frills.
and all. that. jaaaaaaaaaazz~

But the only person who can determine that is me.
I'm a strong believer in "it's the attitude not the event", I don't really let things get on top of me.
I mean, why would you?
Why see a half empty glass, when it could be half full?
Why see a moonless sky, when it could be reigned by stars?
Why see it as getting wet, when it could be dancing in the rain?
(:

ps: today was a good day.
pps: my posts are becoming extremely selfish hrmmm.
ppps: apologies for the grainy and crappy quality photo, but it was a phone photo taken by yours truly and its one of, (if not THE), the most beautiful photos I've ever taken. It was a bright day, and I was lazing around with friends under the retiring sun near Flinders St. Needless to say, it surpassed the average good day. ^^

Pack Your Bags

And make peace with an empty town..

"Paper bags and plastic hearts" is perhaps my favourite snippet of lyric ever, by the amazingly fabulous band Boys Like Girls, who, by the way, did not disappoint at their gig last week.

But back to the point of this post.

Don't you ever want to run away?
Go somewhere new,
adopt a pseudonym
and start afresh?
Or maybe just live a lie for a little while,
play life with someone else's strings.

I feel like I need an escape.
I may only have been back at school for 3 days,
but I'm already drained.
In fact,
I started on an exhausted note after the epicness of band camp.

I feel like I need a break to re-evaluate my life, or rather my year.
I can't believe half a year has disintegrated.

Nothing has gone according to plan,
disappointment,
shifting circles,
drifting friendships,
and new directions

Everything just feels a little odd.
Just a tad out of whack.
Need Re-Orientation.

It seems I have also contracted SMS again.

Addicted to You

I'm completely and utterly addicted to Tumblr.
This is what happens when you put me in front of a computer screen with an endless page of pretty pictures and wonderful words.
I blame the person who invented the infinite grid.
Grrrr.
Damn you for keeping me entertained, amused and my eyes aesthetically pleased.
Between that and my newfound dependency on blogging to keep me away from my exponentially increasing to do list, I have barely any time left to read D:
Funny how my priorities work.

This is a pathetic little post to tide my few followers over for the weekend as I am embarking on my final music camp (:
Yay!
The 3 days of crappy camp food, excessive consumption of sugar to make up for the crappy camp food and very little sleep due to the excessive consumption of sugar is always a lovely experience.
No really.
It actually is.
The company is amazing and I can't deny that little raves to what us musical snobs deem to be superior taste in music in the teeny tiny cabins don't help the experience along ^^

But then again,
I enjoy almost all camps..
Its not that I dislike being at home, god knows I'm a material girl at heart and love my obnoxiously loud electronics that greet my bleary eyed self from the comfort of my pillow in the wee hours of the morning.
But home is quite quiet.
Or should I say, very quiet.
And I'm a very energetic person,
lazy, but extremely bouncy.
And being the sociable Tigger that I am, camps are always fun-filled, after all,
friends are company that I choose, family, I just choose to live with.

p.s. Don't get the wrong impression, I love my family to bits, when I'm not busy resenting them and being a moody ungrateful teenager that is.

A Really Nice Evening

Its been a long while since:

I've had such a nice, low-key night.
I've been to a birthday party without the party.
I've attended an event where there were no lows, for anyone.

And it was really just lovely (:

Sometimes I forget that it doesn't need to be exciting for it to be fun.
When did parties turn into an excuse to slut around, get smashed off your face and create gossip to preoccupy ourselves with in our boring, sick sad lives?
What happened to celebrating?
Really celebrating?

NEWS UPDATE:
I found the perfect quote to express myself, I've always lived by it and now that someone else has managed to articulate it in such an astoundingly eloquent manner, it can now officially become the byline of my life:

Never regret anything in life, because at one time it is exactly what you wanted

Anonymity.

Oh how we've changed.
Is it you or is it me?
Or was it how we were all along,
but we were always too blind to see?

Were we faking it all this time?
Did we really not know the truth?
Did we get lost among too many
of the stars glimpsed from the roof?
The streets along which we walked,
Can we claim them in recollection's seas?
Or were they but a plastic pavement,
of false dreams, and devised fantasies?
The zephyrs of the past blew over,
taking with it blissful naivety
Can I ignore the shadows that are threatening
to overcast our sepia memory?

I'll remember you as you.
I'll remember me as me.
And here's to a you I've never seen,
whomsoever you dare to be.

Linkchains.

For today,
this shall do.
Though it reminds me.
We're all so very connected.
And its so very poignant since the internet.

click 1: stranger.
click 2: random.
click 3: a nameless familiar face.
click 4: a friend of a friend.
click 5: someone very much in your life, or even more shocking, yourself.

Happy Birthday to my ojiisan,
we made a joint venture, its very different to my normal style, we blog very differently.
Excuse the fail formatting..it was 6.30 in the morning and we had yet to sleep.

Pretty Pictures and Wise Words

And my own personal post.
Inspired by the tumblr of a friend, and shocking as I generally dislike rhyme in poetry.
Who knew I was awake enough to make that up.

Sidenote: for those who have yet to see, oggle, and die a little inside after poring over the Givenchy 2010 collection for the 805356897th time: ohhhhmyyyygoddddAHmae-zing. For those who don't know me, laceee. So obviously. But surprisingly its the gold piece that I love..

Self Sufficient

Holidays started over a week ago,
and despite the expected days of freedom and waste-able time,
my holidays thus far have proved otherwise.
Apologies for being MIA,
but work opened its big fat mouth and omnom-ed half of my holidays.
There is now this gulf of emptiness where my life should have been.
Instead it is sitting alone, in the darkness of the pits of the stomach of a monster called "work".

No really.
I feel like I've started sporting a sore back and wrinkles because of the amount of hours a day I've worked.
In a row.
If this is what its like to be grown up, call me Peter Pan.

I don't understand growing up.
There's this massive gap between uni aged people and say parents.
Its like there's this gap where their vitality gets sucked out of them :/
Props to a certain group of uni aged people for the best night in a while the other night.
I can't imagine a mundane life.
I can't imagine making decisions purely because it is the responsible choice.
I'm enjoying it as it is.

Back on the topic of work.
Though its really not that bad.
Generally, I've enjoyed working and the people I work with and the adorable customers that frequent the shop.
And what can I say, money is never a chore to have.

Otherwise holidays are lovely (:
Sadly you never get around to seeing everyone all the time but nevertheless, fun times to be had.