Resurfacing.

Lisa M.

How many people can we be?

How many faces can we wear?
How many skins need be shedded before our true colours emerge?

Are we the simple, purehearted child from once upon a time,

or the callous exterior that glares witheringly at our enemies?

The mirror is cracked and disjointed.

Each shard shows another reality true.

Conflicting, overwhelming.

I cannot be both I and me.

Years Gone By

Half an hour away from the beginning of the end of my teens!

There are two days in a year that make me particularly happy - New Years and my Birthday. Birthdays are personalized New Year's Days.

In my head, they are both the space that follows a full stop.

The pause in which you glance back over at the many a sentence, comma and full stop that preceded it.

But also the pause in which there is the possibility for any capital letter to follow.

You know something remarkable is coming, and it could be anything.

And the anticipation is killing me.

Growing up is hard to do

(Awks I had this typed up and ready to publish on NYE but I forgot thanks to my last minute BBQ and a family trip)

For the first half of our lives, we're chasing after the elegant silhouette of the sophisticated woman we want to become.

A journey marked by seemingly insignificant milestones:

The profound ability to recognise your style amidst crowded racks in overflowing department stores.

The acquisition of your first heel, painful but nothing compared to that ridiculous teetering, borderline dangerous stiletto that is to come, a few years on.

The unnoticed transition between too heavily kohl lined eyes and amateur attempts at eyeshadow to fledgling makeup artist.

But sometimes along the way, we end up taking many steps backwards as a person.

Becoming pretty, polished and poised,

but rotting away inside as we become too selfish, too indulgent, too ignorant.

Another chapter of our past ends

with pages that whisper nightmares, cry heartbreak and sing joy and dreams fulfilled,

but is our character who we want to be?

So here's to the New Year:

May we rise to meet its challenges, and withstand its pitfalls with grace and a heart of gold.

Listlessness

A very obvious pattern has appeared in my days,

sleep in - eat - work - shop - eat - sleep

and repeat.

There's a listlessness that plagues me at times,

seeping into my routine and keeping my snippy and cynical.

Perhaps its the absence of the glorious sun that, being the tease it is, has not poked its head out since Spring.
Perhaps its the non-event that is many a weekday in passing, spent contentedly but with no peaks or troughs.

Or perhaps its only my mood at the moment.

I've spent much time this holidays shopping or browsing online, and overjoyed at parcels arriving or flipping out over how gorgeous some new pigment of eyeshadow is.

It makes me feel incredibly happy but rather simple hehe.

Image credits: Hans Kylberg

人身的悲惨

时时刻刻盼望着完美的昨天，回望以过的阳光。

而今天的漂亮和美好次次都只能已错过了的风景，流过。

只怕慢步享受每一秒，就会失去生活的机会。

怕如果失去一步的进展，当发现人身逃跑了，我们拼命也追不上。

The Tragedy of Life

Forever longing for the perfection of yesterday, gazing backwards at past horizons.

Yet, again, and again, today's beauty and wonder can only slip past like a scenery missed.

Always paralysed by fear: if we slow our steps to appreciate the view, we'll miss our chance to live the moment.

Afraid that missing even a single moment, our lives will elude us, and by the time we realise, it'll be too late.

ps. I know the translation is a little rough, but then again the original Chinese probably is too D:

Musings

My blog has been very neglected as of late.

Its shocking that I haven't posted since August but to be honest every time I thought about posting something, I either didn't have time or didn't have any inspiration.

Life has been a tumultuous mix of fun, sadness, disappointment, anger and stress.
I feel like life has been passing me by and despite always believing in no regrets, I've had an awful lot of them. I feel like I'm watching the days spindle through and even though there are brief moments of brilliance every so often, I spend more time being an onlooker to joy than living in the moment. Hopefully, summer will help me move past that.

I'm very hesitant about turning it into a personal blog, even though this is what it seems to be becoming.

My main reason is that I treasure the privacy of being "anonymous" on the internet, even though most of my followers are friends in real life.

But this blog started because I wanted an outlet for my creative side that my daily life has no room for so turning it into a personal blog would defeat the purpose of that. Added onto the fact that generally, when I'm happy, I'm too busy enjoying being happy so I know that I'd probably end up being very rash and use the blog to vent my anger and sadness which I'm sure, wouldn't end well.

I'm also thinking of starting a new blog HAH, (because of course, if I don't have time for my current one, I'll sooo have time for two) because I've had a lot of fun following fashion blogs and beauty blogs and I think a haul blog would be nice for me to keep track of my shopping addiction and use it productively.

Sunny Skies

^-^

As the days are warming,

my smiles are wider, my skip is lighter, and my bounce is higher.

I'm waiting impatiently for the heart-warming prickle of a hot hot sun,

and the relief of a cool breeze in the scarce shade of a 30 degree day.

For the sand sticking between saline drenched toes

and the bronzed glow of an unwanted tan.

Summer, you've been playing hard to get for far to long.

You're toying with my feelings and messing with my health.

Keeping me far too keen,

my moment's joy whisked away by the remnants of a chilly winter breezes.

But never mind.

When you're here,

all will be forgiven,

because when you're here,

all is right.

Sorry sorry :(
I'm such a bad blogger, far too sporadic.