Unhealthy Dispositions.

Of the hostile, unfriendly nature.

Is it just me or are there people who you are naturally inclined to have less patience with?
People who just strike a nerve the second they open their mouth,
or just piss you off with their presence?

Not even necessarily people that you hate.
A lot of the time its just friends.
People you can't bring yourself to break away from.
Or people who you can't stand until you see them again
and remember why you're friends in the first place

People who's characteristic tendencies slowly began to eat at you, gnawing until it grates on your nerves.
Or just people who you trust to be there so much that you push them onto the back burner, always.

For example,
this person makes a comment and you crack the shits.
But, if it were someone else, you'd just let it slide, or laugh it off.
Sometimes, its cause these people have different personalities.
Other times, its just because they irritate you,
or just aren't someone you feel the need to pretend you're okay in front of.

Hmm food for thought.

Small Scale Neuroticism

Not quite at as serious as Neurotic OCD,
everyone has little quirks that make them that much more unique and lovable
or that much more strange and nonsensical.

Things like
Stationery obsession (guilty as charged)
Shopping by packaging (admittedly, also guilty)
Doing things is sets of threes.
Turning off all electricity at the power-points as soon as they walk into a room.

Or in my case:
compulsively eating icecream
Arranging all my books on a desk so that they are in size order,
and my stationary then has to sit on top,
organised and straight without breaching the borders of the books.

Or a slightly more harmful one:
A thirst for spontaneity.
Doing things just because I'm craving lustrous shiny excitement.
(Note: do not take this out on your hair)

Yet even though we find these to be oddities, there are many people out there who share the same traits.
Is it perhaps a personality thing?
Or are there just a set of people who've been scanned and edited,
then mass produced in our society.
Ahh the wonders of consumerism.

Props to Mademoiselle in Melbourne for topical inspiration.

Burning Skylines.

R.I.P

Its time for a new era.

Introducing: Fictional Lives.
Blurring the lines between fiction and my reality.

Because originality fails us,
so sometimes, its easier to express yourself with someone else's words.

"odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
I hate and i love. Why do I do this, perhaps you ask.
nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."
I know not, but I feel it happen and I am tormented.

- Catullus

True, timeless, eloquence, from Ancient Rome.

We are, still the same,
perhaps humanity has even gone backwards.

Curtain Calls

Final Arts Festival done and dusted :(

Yes, I cried.
God, I'm a sap.
But it was possibly the highlight of every school year.
It's actually amazing what a bunch of students can do.
Now,
It's over,
and I feel ancient.
I'm sure I'll have plenty more opportunities for things like this in the future,
but still.

I'm also shocked by those who don't embrace this type of stuff.
I just don't understand how you can not love the atmosphere,
the buzzing.
But then again, you do lose track of your closest friends for a month.

p.s. Forgot to mention: JJ Lin concert was epic and surreal. Nobu at Crown is also downright delectable and so superbly scrumptious.

Honest Mirrors

Take a good hard look
Seriously,
do like what you see?
Its not about vanity
Its about realistic dignity
and self respect.
The mirror was metaphorical,
clearly.

We are fantastical realities fabricated by ourselves alone.

But honestly,
why is it so hard?

I want to
find the perfect equilibrium,
wavering somewhere between
undeserved egocentricity and excessive self criticism.
Act selfishly, without treading on others.

We struggle to face ourselves honestly.
We either hide from our flaws or become obsessed with them.
We do things to prove ourselves to others or to trick ourselves.

In the words of Blair Waldorf:
"I'm gonna kiss somebody someday and when I do, it'll be for me"

Just don't let appreciation of self
make you heady with your own astounding scent.

p.s. I realise Blair Waldorf is not a literary great, however, that line was the inspiration and basis for this entire post and in my pathetic sick state, I can think of little else more fitting.

Hothothot!

Never thought I'd say this but..
TOO MUCH CHILLI SAUCE.
Mmmm, fine cuisine.
Hehe, I'm such a foodie.

Now onto more pressing matters!
Art Fest is just around the corner, steaming down the hill.
Its so exciting, intense and bustling.
My life becomes a whirlwind of endless tasks,
a time-turner worthy amount of places to be, if only there were more than one of me.
Everyone's stressed or freaking out or just taking a back seat and observing the commotion.
Someone said to me that they hate this time of year, because: even though its so much fun,
it brings out the worst in people.

I have to agree, but I love this time of year.
With the worst, comes the best.
People really step up.
Even though the claws are out,
everyone knows to let it go in these obstreperous times.

At the same time, I think its better to see the uglier side of people.
I'd rather see their true self,
them at their worst,
than to always live under the false impression that they're sweet, angelic good Samaritans that could do no wrong.

Its about being able to love and appreciate the people around you when they are revealing their ugliest face.
Ew, deceptive beauty, Maestro, ya da ya da ya.
Joking,
I love the book.
But I hate text response.

Sappho

Dull gloom:
thin, poison gas.
Seeping
Seeking
Festering.

Possibly the only way I can describe this mind-numbing dullness.
I just can't be bothered and I don't care.
It's infiltrating my life! D:

I can't seem to look outside of my own bubble without judging.

p.s.
Inspiration: Sappho

"Pain penetrates,
me drop
by drop"

Latin <3