On a Less Depressing Note...

I am currently unemployed.

Well not really, but the same old 7.5 hour shift a week part-time at the same place I've worked for the past three years really doesn't count.

D:

Which isn't really a big deal, considering I'm still on my summer break pending First Year Uni (and really who wants to be doing anything right now?) but still.

I would enjoy some serious employment.

By serious, I mean retail.

About 10000000 applications later,

I'm still idling around hoping for a response before my availability changes

(by the way, thats in oh, under 20 days)

Alas! I'm too busy enjoying my holidays to care

There's still so much I planned to do that I haven't gotten around to,

like that damn scrapbook I have only begun to plan.

And I really REALLY need to find some way to keep track of all my clothes (ideas anyone?) so I can stop myself buying slinky little numbers like the one I bought yesterday.

Along with the (shockhorror) first pair of close-toed pumps I've ever bought.

What have I been doing with my life until now?!

Oooh and also, 18 in a few days! c:

Gosh I feel sorry for any boys who deign to read this. But yes, random blurble ^^, in a different style, more blogospheresque I suppose.

Dark Places

Where do they come from?

These fears. Anxieties. Doubts.

The ones that manifest inside: tendrils slyly licking away at the edges of our...vitality.

Helplessness.

We reach inside in our times of hardship,

capsizing, surrendering ourselves to familiar feelings.

Of hollowness.

Of biting cold.

Of a void and aching throbs.

But we reach.

Darkness can not fall

and shadows can not seek—

they follow.

- Ilia

Why is it that bearing the brunt of neglect is described as iciness?

Is our selfish need to be cared for so numbing?

Or is it the frosty slap of the winter chill against our wounds,

the ones we nurse for days, in indignant injustice?

Why can't it be like the nightfall,

a redirection of the sun's spotlight,

to alight upon another?

Why is loneliness a chill?

It may be a lack of warmth amidst a ray toasted crowd

but it does not have to be wintry.

Let it be...a moment of peace.

A chance to embrace you and your own.

Why are even emotions so absolute?

I'm not going to pretend I don't frequent that barely lit depth in my mind,

but I believe in the power to walk away from it.

My anger is a puddle, I simply step out

Live in the emotion, savor its existence.

Ultimately, it is still an experience.

And at least, you're feeling.

But choose to let it go.

Recovery

I guess in the end, everyone can be pushed too far,

and I never thought it possible but there came a day where even I ran out of tears to cry.

But thats was yesterday.

And now this is today c:

Things are looking up,

so far,

positively wonderful ^^

This Summer

Days melding into nights,

nights so alive,

people, faces, music, moving.

Excited babble,

Long-awaited plans

become surreal flights landing

Tired feet in well worn heels,

markets, malls, childhood wonderlands,

foreign languages soothing ears

Sleepy kisses, sunset picnics

Lazing on a scorching shore

Just living.

Sinking

For what its worth, you make my days,

the same way that you break them.

Nowadays I wish I could do without,

but I guess its a little late.

Too far gone.

Salvation

Rest, it eludes me.

eyes closed, eyes open,

I see nothing

Nothing but a shadow,

hazy streaks upon the stony ceiling

as time passes, inching slowly,

my heart begins to stumble,

then a Fall.

doubts dragging me down below

sinister thoughts, lurking,

awaiting in the depths

familiar faces absent from above

And the musty darkness envelops me

Squeezing. Seizing my lungs.

A gasp,

A breath,

A breeze.

A waif-like sliver of light

The scent of hope in a distant corner

there lies the moonlit window

dim,

flickering,

beautiful.

a faint light reaching out its hand.

ps. I know I said to expect a sequel but not quite yet! This is a joint project with my friend (:
feedback please!

Last Summer

An absent-minded arm dangles recklessly from the couch

Snippets of seamless conversation flicker by unheard

Another errant limb rests, floating just above the floor

The artificial breeze blows cool upon a cheek, a forehead, a hairline

Skin glistening like the dewy drops of condensation

Trickling from the glass with its clinking cubes of ice

Mindless Days Pass